| Yes, I'm not doing my hw |
[08 Oct 2009|11:48pm] |
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“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real” - Thomas Merton |
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History will be made this weekend in Washington DC. Though immediate change will not come as a result of the March for Equality this Sunday, it will be a catalyst for the great things to come. Things are progressing slowly and with all the ballot measures on multiple states ready to take away equal marriage rights that were recently given, I have hope. Hope of better things to come. And really, is life worth living without hope? Hope is such a powerful thing. The first African American president was elected on the simple message of HOPE. Hope that this isn't it. That our legacy to our children and to future generations is that we are constantly striving to leave the world a better place than we received it. Hope that we are not as self-centered as we have been painted and that we truly care about others and care about our neighbors. That doing things for other is more important that doing things for ourselves and the reward from sacrificing for others leaves a much more lasting impression than instant gratification for ourselves.
I read an article today that gave me hope. The article was about a self proclaimed devout Christian who used to base his hatred towards homosexuals on religious and church teachings. But he looked inwards and found that that isn't it for him. That enlightenment and success doesn't come from accepting all that you know now, but in seeking to learn what's next and what else is out there. So this Sunday Oct 12, 2009, although I cannot be physically present, I will be there emotionally and mentally. I will realizing the great history that is being made. The stand people will take that we do not accept things as they are now and that progress cannot be made until we make a conscious decision to MOVE. And if we don't, then we give up our power to those who know less than we do.
“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” - Dale Carnegie
I'm a little scattered right now so this is a bit disconnected. I had the opportunity to listen to Mick Ukleja speak last Monday night. Mick is the President of LeadershipTraQ and author of "Who Are You and What Do You Want?: The Journey For the Best Of Your Life". He is a very good speaker and here is an excerpt from one of his newsletters.
Fourth, you need friends that support you. They provide emotional support. True friends walk in when others walk out. They don't abandon you. They stick with you in a crisis...Emerson said, "a true friend is one who makes us do what we can do." They stretch you, press you, envelop you, and force you to grow. The point is that you will never rise above the level of your closest friends.
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| Random Thoughts |
[09 Sep 2009|08:58pm] |
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Glee in the background |
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I've realized that I have neglected LJ for sometime. I'm undecided if I want to write here, write on Xanga, on FB notes or just not write at all. I'm still feeling it out until I can find my groove.
The other night when I was having trouble falling asleep, I was reading random articles/blogs/notes online and came across and op-ed advocating for polyamorous or open relationships. Written of course by a hormone enraged 18-21 yr old (undergrad student) so I naturally take what was written with a grain of salt but a comment under this article was what really caught my eye. Very well said and I couldn't agree more.
palaeologos: I don't think anyone really believes that your sexuality can be turned on or off like a faucet. Of course you're going to continue to be attracted to other people, but being an adult is realizing that not every passing whim you have needs to be gratified. I have yet to see a polyamorous or open relationship that wasn't fake as plastic, involving both parties' denial of their suppressed jealousy. The root of such a relationship isn't the desire for intimacy, but the greed for experience; it's not based on self-giving, but self-pleasing. Love is sacrificial, not narcissistic; it's a free gift to the other, not a desire to have for oneself.
Let others make the mistake for all you readers out there. From someone who has tried it honestly and not honestly, it does not work out well for anyone. The experience is not worth it. It is a selfish deed.
“Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.” - John MacNaughton
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| Socialized Medicine? |
[12 Aug 2009|01:29pm] |
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Image taken from JoeMyGod Blogspot
This makes a good point. There are a lot of people right now talking about a healthcare system with more government involvement and they point to countries like Canada and the UK and talk about how terrible the healthcare systems are in those places and how many people die because of those healthcare systems. The problem is, the people who rant and rave the most about this are people who have never even experienced healthcare from those countries, are not even from those countries.
Now I'm Canadian. And while I'd admit the healthcare system in Canada is not perfect, it is pretty darn good. Having had first hand experience and seeing two of my grandparents fight cancer under the care of the Canadian government run healthcare system, I'm quite satisfied.
So to all those people out there who say the Canadian and UK health systems manage death lists, do a little research. Talk to some people. Hell, try it first hand before you knock it.
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| Good sores and In N Out |
[15 Mar 2009|03:35pm] |
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X-Men: The Last Stand |
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So I finally went up to the mountain for the first time this season. I skied instead of snowboarded as a result of my injury 3 seasons ago, and you know what, I still had fun. I will admit that there is no feeling like the feeling of carving powder on a snowboard (something I've only really felt 2 or 3 times because I wasn't that good at snowboarding) but cutting corners with skis on comes pretty darn close.
I had a ton of fun and I will keep on skiing for now. It's a total body work out and I'm feeling a little sore today. Muscles in my back and sides that I don't typically use (man it feels good, I should go up more often). The company was amazing but there was just ONE thing missing. In N Out Burger! A tradition of MINE is to have In N Out for dinner on the way back from the slopes but for others (including my Vio) it's to get Pho. First I'm off, I'm a little turned off by getting Pho in Sacramento because there isn't any good Pho here. Second...man it's In N Out!! For me, nothing is more satisfying than some fresh cut fries, a single cheese burger animals style with some special sauce and a Neapolitan milk shake. If you've had In N Out, you know what I mean. I just had it for lunch. mMmmM hits the spot!
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| "You have to try this guys" |
[19 Feb 2009|11:44pm] |
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HiiiiLARious!!
I'd get this Woot Shirt, but I don't need anymore Woot shirts. Plus I can't wear them at work. boo.
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| Take a step back |
[06 Feb 2009|09:58pm] |
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I've read a few blogs of GeminiVT now, related to helping yourself. Although, I haven't had the chance to comment on them, they resonate deeply with me. It's been quite hectic lately, academically, professionally and personally. School has been pretty front end loaded and I've been trying to pick up the slack from my other "teammates". Sometimes I wonder about engineers. How can such smart people be so disconnected and unorganized? They can be so scatter-brained and I will be the one who needs to focus them. Work has also been busy, but I guess in a good way. My boss got someone to "cover my desk" so I will have more time to up-level my desk. Let's just say I'm doing my senior's job without my senior's pay. LOL. As a friend and co-worker put it, "laterally moving up".
Anyway, I'm feeling a bit drained lately. For those who know me, know I will always find a way to power through. This is probably because I loathe self loathing. I am a friend and a loyal friend who will offer my ear, but know that if I offer you my ear, I expect a certain amount of respect for yourself. And this respect is shown if there is something that is keeping you down, it's okay to be down but have a plan to get back up. You ever have that constant friend who presents you with a problem, and at first it sounds like she wants to do something about it. But then she always has a reason for why it will fail. So rule of reciprocity, you offer another solution (keep in mind that the carrot was dangled in front of you. You were the one who was engaged into this two-way conversation and the other person, at least at first glance, seems to respect you and values what you have to say). However, when you offer a solution, it gets shot down. And another, and nothing. And this happens all the time...How do you deal with a complainer who resists your help? This brings me to an interesting article I came across (I can't remember where I came across it, could be NPR, but if I'm stealing anyone's glory, I'm really sorry. I just can't remember).
I won't get into it anymore. It's a pretty good read. Everyone has one of these friends. Just good luck figuring out when to "Love it", "Leave it", or "Lead it".
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| Something borrowed, something blue |
[17 Jan 2009|11:06pm] |
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I've had wedding on the mind lately. Yes, I'm even a little wedding crazed, I'll admit it. I think it's because it's now 2009; it seems like there is only 1 year left til the big day. And while, I really do have a lot of time by most standards (1 year and 8 months), I can now tell people "my wedding is next year".
Holy Moly! I've started wedding gown "shopping" and although I've gone with no intent on buying or buying any time soon, I think I've found the one. YIKES! I found it at the first place I looked. It must have been the 8th dress I tried on (8 is my lucky number) but BAM! Vi (not be confused with Vio) can contest that my whole face changed when I saw myself in that dress. Sure there were other pretty dresses but man oh man, this one! And while I'm still planning on "shopping", I think I will come back to this "the one".
A question that gets asked a lot is, "how do you know?" And it's with a lot of things in life, how DO you know? Love, life, career, education, house, wedding dress. And it's universally answered "When you know, you know." When it's something you're so emotionally invested in, there is no rationalizing it. Sure you can try to describe it, such as "beading, subtle A-line, roushing" but how do you describe BAM! or WOW! or OH MY EFFING GOD...You can't. And I will leave that at that.
Weddings is a $40 billion a year industry. WHAT? $40 billion?! Half of that is going to end in divorce! Maybe it's what's keeping our economy slightly submerged. I digress.
That's a lot of money and now I know why. I've been working on my spreadsheets (mmm...spreadsheets) and working our 3 different wedding scenarios. I won't break out how much here but potentially, I planned out what a budget wedding would look like, and average wedding would look like and then a "Hey daddy's little girl wants a REAL party!" wedding. I gotta tell you, a budget wedding is hard. But it's doable, and what I've noticed is, if it's pulled off, it's a very personal and intimate wedding. Something about that is attractive. But at the same time, there are a lot of people in this world that has touched V and my life in such a way that they've helped us to become who we are today, and we want to be sure we include those. So, I will be having the "talk" with my parents soon. Yes, soon. I'm trying. I really am. Oy...It's a tough conversation.
I am soooo happy...and I am sooo excited. This year is going to pass by fast!
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| Be thankful |
[18 Dec 2008|11:51pm] |
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I didn't get to do my annual list of things to be thankful about this year. It was a busy thanksgiving. Here is a modified version still going along with the same theme, albeit late.
I don't think people are grateful for what they have anymore. I'm convinced it's the American culture. Everyone is so selfish. Everyone does things, it seems, only if they get something out of it and it seems if the rewards are not great enough, people just sit on their asses. I am convinced it is this culture of selfishness that led us, in large part, to our economic melt down. Think about it, how many news articles have you read about people walking away from their houses, NOT because they can't afford to pay the monthly payments anymore, but simply because they're not winning anything by making the payments (i.e., their house isn't worth what they're paying for it). How utterly selfish and irresponsible?! Guess what buddy, if you don't call the bank and tell them you're not paying enough money when your house is making money, you don't get to walk away when it's not. But no, Americans choose to be a burden onto others (like myself who continually makes her monthly mortgage payments even though she's $120,000 underwater. That's right, you didn't read it wrong).
It's unbelievable. So many things EVERYONE has to be thankful for. Grateful for but they just take it for granted. Take higher education for instance. How many people in this world don't get a chance to go to college or graduate school? If you are FORTUNATE enough to be able to go, have the financial means even if you have to take out loans, don't complain about it! (GeminiVT will agree with me here). People complaining can be sooooo effing draining. Just be grateful. It's getting cold here. It's getting cold in a lot of places. Oh well, I just heard on the news today that a women went to the hospital complaining about a bad headache and left with a deadly brain aneurysm. I guess the weather doesn't sound so bad now anymore does it?
That story leads me to my next point. LIFE is fragile. Don't waste it. Don't take for granted those around you. They may not wake up tomorrow. If you looked up...and for one second, didn't make it all about you, and what you get out of it, what you can do to get the upper hand, you may see the world and all of it's glory. You may notice the fresh smell of pine, the person who held the elevator for you, the child's smile ringing the Salvation Army bell as you dropped some money into the red bucket, the lover who cooked your favorite meal for you after a long day at work, the cute way in which two candy canes can make the shape of a heart, your brother going a whole week without his precious PS3 so that you can play Rockband (and driving all the way out because your forgetful ass forgot the drumsticks), or how about the fact that you get to go to a warm home tonight...when so many others out there don't have one.
I pledge to be grateful, now, this holiday season and all year round. I sincerely hope that you will to.
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| quick one |
[08 Dec 2008|02:17pm] |
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As I was checking my Gmail at work today, this came in at the corner of my eye.
WTF is "Black English". It doesn't sound so PC to me. So I followed link to find out what it is all about. Orchard Books, Inc. publishes a series of books that are supposed to help you improve your English grammar skills so that you are better prepared for standardized tests in the US. While reading further about what they defined "Black English" as, I've come to find that it is "(African American English Vernacular/Ebonics), or Brooklynese - historical and derived American English dialects".
I think what these fine folks at Orchard Books, Inc. really meant to ask is "Do you talk ghetto?" There is no "Black English". There's English, and then there is bad English. And yes, there are a lot of people who speak really bad English out there. I'm not upset that there are people who speak bad English out there, I'm upset that Orchard Books, Inc. has summed up bad English and raciallized it as "Black English".
Here's my last rant. There aren't different dialects of English being spoken in the US. Ebonics is not a f*cking dialect so stop calling it that. I think it's absurd that for a period of time (back in the late 90's) there was a push for teachers to learn Ebonics so they can better communicate with their students. It's bullshit. We should not be teaching kids it's okay to start conversations with "whad it do?"
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| Show your support. |
[01 Nov 2008|03:00pm] |
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I know this weekend is the last push before Tuesday's elections and there have been calls for people to line some busy intersections in Sacramento to campaign and hold NO on Prop 8 signs.
For those of you don't know, Prop 8 in California, if passed would create a Constitutional Amendment to ban same-sex marriages.
V and I have spent over $200 between the two of us donating to this campaign because it is obviously near and dear to our hearts. I was volunteering at the phone banks before school started but since school has started, I haven't had much time and thus the only way I can contribute is through monetary donations. I feel bad that I "didn't have time" to campaign. Well, I made time this morning to have brunch with an out of town friend and others. As I was driving home from brunch, I came to the corner of Fair Oaks and Howe and low and behold on this cold POURING RAINY day, there was a fairly large group of campaigners cheering and holding NO on Prop 8 signs!
I honked as I passed and then I called V. I have been feeling sick lately but I wanted to do something. I obviously can make time for brunch so I should be able to make time to campaign for this. This group of ~25-30 people on such a cold and rainy day were out there in their ponchos and umbrellas with such high spirits. So after getting permission from V (because I'm feeling sick and she doesn't want me to be more sick) to go back I did. I was going to picket...but the rain is falling harder and I can't afford to get more sick. I have a mid-term on Monday that I need to have my head together for. So instead, I stopped by the closest Starbucks. Bought 25 kids sized hot cocoas (paid for 22 because the barista was nice enough to give me a discount and another guy standing in line heard what I was doing donated another $5) and passed them out. And you know what. The look on those sign holders faces absolutely made my day. They appreciated me stopping and passing out these hot cocoas and I think it must have meant much more to them than if I were to just donate that $50 I spent on the NOn on Prop 8 website. I think for them, it's just showing that we all care. It means a lot to all of us and that we support what they are doing. I'm really glad I went back.
Thank you to all of you out there today and the rest of this weekend. :) My heart is with you.
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| An eventful weekend. |
[19 Oct 2008|02:19pm] |
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Oak v. Jets in background |
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This weekend was the 2nd Annual Edible Crawl-for-the-Cure for Cystic Fibrosis. For those like me, who has never done any type of crawl (i.e. Pub Crawl) registration was $35, $60 for couples and $25 for DDs. You get your participant badge and you make your way around the Midtwon Grid of restaurants, bars, cafes and ice cream parlors sampling the food and drinks. Every stop you make, they punch your badge so you can't take advantage and stay at one place eating and drinking. The event was from 12-5PM Saturday and all proceeds from your registration fee goes to Cystic Fibrosis research. All restaurants donated all the food and drink for the event.
If you think about it, it's a really novel idea. A few weeks ago, I dragged (almost literally) my friend Vi, her boyfriend Dan, and Vi's cousin Phuong out to the 5k run/walk for AIDS. Vi = not so athletic and definitely not a morning person. She joked, "Okay we did it your way (raising money for causes), now we're going to do it my way!" You know, I had a lot of fun!! I'm probably not going to stop running for my causes but I also won't shoot down the next opportunity to Crawl-for-the-Cure.
Next year, I'm definitely going to want to have Vio out here and she has a lot of foodie friends, whom I'm sure would absolutely enjoy the event. We're going to have a huge team next year!! I think geminivt might like it, too. Maybe she can make a trip out as well.
All in all, there were 20 establishments who participated and this is what they had to offer.
1. Buckhorn Grill
- Cabernet, Tri-tip Sandwich
2. Bistro 33 Midtown
- Brut Sparkling Wine, Steak Tacos
3. Mason's Restaurant (Contemporary American, owned by the same folks as The Park Ultra Lounge)
- Grapefruit Cosmo Shot, Yummy Homestyle Mac 'n Cheese
4. Parlare Euro Lounge (Night Lounge and Bar)
- Blueberry Cosmos, Edemame Beans, French Fries
5. Sofia's (Italian cuisine)
- Coconut Mojitos, Italian Meatballs in sauce, Bruschetta (Also bought an Italian Lager to share with Dan)
6. Mansion Court Cafe (Clarion Mansion Inn)
- Skipped
7. Butch-n-Nellies (Gay Establishment, Coffees and Teas)
- Skipped
8. Sanad's Mediterranean Deli
- Skipped
9. Brew It Up! (Mircobrewery and restaurant)
- Irish Amber, Hellertauer Lager, Blue Cheese Kettle Chips
10. Yogurt a go-go (Make your own soft serve parlor)
- Tiny sample of Pomegranate Tart or Chocolate Vanilla Swirl, didn't get a picture
11. Stonegrill and Bar (Assortment of meals cooked on hot stones)
- Flat Iron Steak on hot stone (although they advertised scallops), Some kind of nasty vodka Grenadine shooter
12. Rubicon Brewing Company (Microbrewery and restaurant)
- Pilsner and Lager? (to be honest with you, by this point it was just beer), Cross cut fries
13. 58 Degrees and Holding Company (Wine list of over 200 selections)
- One red, one white (I had the refreshing glass of Lemon Water), Cheese, Bread, Olives. Forgot to get the picture in.
14. Tapas The World (Spanish style tapas)
- Skipped
15. Temple Fine Tea and Coffee
- Skipped
16. Waterboy (Southern France and Northern Italian cuisine)
- Skipped
17. Azul (Mexican food and tequila bar)
- Our lush asses didn't make it to this stop but they were supposed to serve up margaritas
18. Zocalo (Restaurant by day, doubles as a night club by night)
- The worst effing shot of cheap tequila ever! I should have not gone there and it was the shot that did me in...
19. L Wine Lounge and Urban Kitchen
- Never made it...
20. Old Soul Company (Bakery and coffee roasters specializing in organic coffees)
- Last stop on the list, never made it
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| NO on Prop 8!!! |
[16 Oct 2008|07:13pm] |
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I was browsing around on Xanga blogs and came across this blog that was making comment on a recent news story that ran in San Francisco. Recently, a group of first graders were taken on a field trip (suggested by one of the students' parent) to their teacher's lesbian wedding. The blogger was asking the question if "the historic significance of same-sex marriage warrants a first-grade field trip?"
I was reading through some of the comments and I was surprised at how many people thought it was inappropriate to to take first-graders to the wedding as a field trip for various reasons including: it's confusing for the children especially if their parents at home are telling them it's wrong and the school is telling them it's okay, that students should not be attending any of their teacher's weddings regardless of where you stand on the issue, that it was no education and some just flat out said it was dumb.
First off, I discredit the notion that a field trip HAS to be educational. Well maybe it should be but we know they aren't always. For those in S. Bay, how many have you have taken a field trip to Great America. Where's the educational value in that?
Second, for those who are just plain homophobic and can't come up with the better comment than "it's dumb", you probably didn't do well in first grade anyway so I won't even try and argue with you.
But I am interested in those comments that stated that there was no historical significance to attending a same-sex marriage. Depending where the country is in 50 years, it may not be a big deal then, but if same-sex marriage was legalized across the US in 50 years and given the chance to attend one now, knowing what I know then, I would want to go. This may be a little confusing so my response to the blogger is below.
Here is my response:
I think a lot of the comments are focused on the fact that the students are invited to just a wedding not understanding the symbolism behind it. Perhaps some think it's inappropriate because it's a teacher's wedding so let me ask if people would have a problem if it was a random same-sex couple's wedding. I think it is a rare occasion when children, or just anybody for that matter to witness history in the making. Whatever side you're on, this is very much a part of history as the civil rights movement itself. The arguments that same-sex marriage is wrong, is disgusting, that it shouldn't be allowed is JUST AS ARCHAIC as the arguments used to be about why inter-racial marriages should not be allowed. Has it been that long ago that every one has forgotten it used to be AGAINST THE LAW for black people to marry white people. Do we stand for that kind of discrimination now? Why should we stand for THIS primitive kind of discrimination against same-sex couples now?
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| Let's get ready to rumble!!! |
[03 Oct 2008|10:34am] |
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Well actually it was more of a beat down. Let's face it, we haven't seen as bad a spanking since 1893 when the Caltech Beavers lost their first game 60-4. Sarah Palin once again showed us that John McCain has completely lost his mind by adopting this Beauty Queen from Alaska as his running mate. She was dodging questions so much at some point you couldn't even seen her in the split screen view anymore. Just in case some of you missed it, here is the breakdown of Sarah Palin's debate game plan.
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| Insomnia: NIght 3 |
[28 Sep 2008|02:20am] |
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Vivian Chow - A Long and Lasting Love |
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"Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage." ~Agnes Repplier
Some would say it is an incredible thing. Unconditional love. From a dog, absolutely. From a human being, not so much. But isn't that what sets us apart from animals. Human beings have this incredible thing, too, and it's called reason and it's called judgment. Without it, humans are left in a dog eat dog world where the biggest and strongest dominate. What an incredible thing it is that you can have the more physically weak female dominate in politics simply (or not quite simply because let's face it, women are complicated) because they have the mental capacity to learn, reason and judge.
But love, real love should not be unconditional. One should not need or want unconditional love. For if you are worthy enough of another's love, then it becomes a mute point. You see, love should have conditions. And those are the conditions that one will not lie, cheat or steal. One will not push and test and trap another up against the wall. But most importantly, it should have the condition of respect. That respect comes from the knowledge that one has to put in as much as one expects to get out of it.
It is quite impossible to expect to gain without having to give. Things are never defined as sharply between black and white in that one cannot always have a fair trade every single time, however, one should expect that there is a blend, a grey, if you will. You will always have to give in order to gain. And in all of this grey, one realizes that you do this because you can never forget that tomorrow is a different day, and tomorrow, that other person may not be there. You can never take for granted, or feel confident that that other person will not leave.
I will never do that...I will not ever forget that tomorrow is a different day and my actions will speak for that. I feel no need to push and test. I don't need to. Because I know who I love, and who I want to be with. I will never try to find reasons to go. And with that, I will always look for the reasons to stay. That is my test. To do things that draw up the best in the other person, not the worst. Because if love is treated right, if love is treated with respect and if it is treated as if it were fragile, then you will never see the worst.
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| summer's coming to an end |
[16 Aug 2008|08:17pm] |
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As promised, I am going to blog about my marriage proposal and I'm also going to blog about the wonderful summer I've had so far. I can't believe this is coming to an end. I swear it seems like I just picked up Vio from the airport and just a couple of weeks ago, I dropped her off at the airport to go back to school. And I will be starting school again in September. But I definitely can't complain. It has been a memorable summer. Below are the highlights.
I got engaged!!! July 12, 2008 I proposed to Violette and she said "yes"! So many of you want to hear how it happened. I secretly hired an artist to be at the Berkeley Rose Garden without Violette knowing. I told one of her closest friends, Nancy about it because we love Nancy and she takes fantastic photos so I wanted the moment to be documented. While walking around the Rose Garden and taking pictures, we come upon this artist who says to us "Hey I'm drawing pictures for my portfolio. Do you mind if I draw you guys?" We say of course and sit down. We chat up a storm and Violette still doesn't know what's going on. Finally when the artist finishes, she gives the drawing to Violette and she sees a drawing me me on my knee holding a sign saying "Will you marry me?" My dear unsuspecting Violette at that time still doesn't know what's going on. And before Violette gets the chance to say "Oh, how did you know we're in place in our relationship?" I pull out the mahogany ring box. All choked up and nearly forgetting what I was going to say, I asked Violette to marry me. I absolutely love her with all my heart. I couldn't be happier. Violette proposed to me on August 2 with the cutest little meerkat and meerkat distress call while in bed with me. I didn't have my glasses or contacts on I almost didn't see the ring. So I guess you can say, it almost went over both of our heads.
Vio and I went to Seattle and visited her Aunt and I got a chance to get reacquainted with an old friend ;) even if it was for one day. It was so nice hanging out with the chick because it felt like we've known each other for years and although we have "known" each other for years, we've hung out all of 3 times. :) good times, good times.
Vio and I went to NYC for a week. And I finally got to see New York and I mean ALL of New York. All in a week, we saw the Statue of Liberty, Battery Park, Ellis Island, SOHO, China Town, Financial District, Times Square, Greenwich Village, Top of the Rock, Empire State, ate at Tavern on the Green, ate at Ninja Restaurant, saw Chicago, saw Stomp and I'm sure I left out some stuff but *phew* I'm glad to be back in Cali. I loved visiting New York but I'd never want to live there. It is a dirty dirty city.
I was a bridesmaid in my best friend from highschool's wedding. Sophia tied the knot and I am so honored to have been a part of it. She is a beautiful bride and her husband was a handsome groom. They look so happy together and I'm glad Tim is safe at home from Iraq and they can finally start their journey of married life with one another. Gosh I feel old.
So that is it, I will start gearing up for school. This year should be good. I think I'm going to kick it up a notch and what better way than to take the accelerated summer school class for New Product Development starting Sept 5. It will be Friday from 4-9PM and Saturday from 9AM-4PM for 2.5 weeks. Should be good. Cheers!!
Getting Drawn
The surprise drawing
Sunday brunch at Salty's in Seattle. It was good!! Thanks for the recommendation!
Gotta love the Bull Market. NYC
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| Betrothed! |
[15 Jul 2008|06:04pm] |
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Realize - Colby Caillat |
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Yes, as you may have seen on FB already, V and I are engaged!! It's official now! It is something that the two of us have talked about before; we even went ring shopping together, but I think the shocker for her was that I asked her so soon to make it official. Although we both know it's coming, the reality of making it official meant we had to start telling people. People = family. My family already know about us and for the most part I think they are happy for us, but being happy for us while we are dating is a whole different story from being happy that we're getting married.
What it means for my family:
1. Letting the rest of the family know...maybe. The ultra homophobic Christian side or the super traditional homophobic CHINESE side. Do you tell them? And do you invite them? This one, I don't even know the answer to, yet if it were my choice. How the heck are my parents going to choose?
2. Financial commitment. Yep, and my parents thought they would get out easy with only having to shell out some cash for 2 (maybe only 1 depending on my sister's drama) of their 3 children for a wedding. No such luck renties. :D I'm getting married and I want a party.
3. Well, I guess there really isn't a 3. Lucky me!!!!! Lucky them!! Grandchildren in the works in a few years? They'll love that!
What it means for V's family:
1. They don't know!! Ai-ya ya ya ya...They don't know...So in one foul swoop, she'll have to tell them not only she into girls...but she's marrying one.
2. Let's get a handle on 1 first shall we? Whatever happens, though, I will be there to support her in any way I can. I know it's a tough thing...you all know it's a tough thing. To lighten the load, though, I have a stark feeling her mom already knows...
I will update in a later blog with the proposal story as well as an engagement website when we get that up an running. For the mean time, enjoy these wonderful engagement photos taken by one of the most awesomest people around--Miss Nancy Hsieh.
A perfect fit.
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| Coming Out |
[06 Jul 2008|08:57am] |
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Everyone (almost everyone) has their coming out story. It usually involves one's self or someone close to intentionally or unintentionally say something that could be mistaken for outing a person but is usually true. If you're lucky then it's no big deal. Everyone will say "oh, yeah, we all knew that". Or it becomes a big drawn out traumatic experience but in the end you feel absolutely liberated and you are no longer ashamed and don't go through the drill of hiding who you are or making up some lame story about how you too met and why you both hang out SO FRIGGIN much (the latter is me)
You also don't have to cringe every single time someone asks if you have a boyfriend. Because usually after you say no, you don't have a boyfriend, you seem to have to explain yourself. As if to explain that there is nothing wrong with you. For Asians (especially older adults, your mom's friends or siblings) seem to think when you're getting up to around your mid to high twenties, you really should be tying the knot. Once you hit 30, your chances are almost all gone because all the young and successful Asian guys have been swiped up by the prettier girls and who wants to marry a 30 year old as she starts to approach their child rearing peak before they drop into a pre-menopausal state. People think there is something WRONG with you if you don't have a boyfriend, yet. Like you have a sixth toe or a third nipple. Because there should be no reason, if you have a successful career or in professional school to have a successful career, you're good looking, outgoing and have lots of friends to NOT have a boyfriend. You must have some undisclosed rash somewhere.
Well that sure as Hell ain't me. If it were me, at that point I would out myself to keep me from keeping sane and not have to keep track of these fake stories I tell. There are, of course, some of my mom's friends who don't know and are constantly asking when they're getting a wedding invitation to either my sister or my wedding. Of course for my sister, my mom says she's in no rush to marry my sister off to some gringo who can't earn a decent living. But what about the successful younger daughter with her own house and a good career while getting her MBA? Why isn't she getting married? I hate it when my mom tries and makes excuses for me. She doesn't always; sometimes she brushes it off and changes the subject and I much prefer that.
I'm out, and I love it. When my phone rings or I get a myriad of text messages, my mom automatically assumes it's V. When I'm playing mahjong with my family and V is in IL and my phone rings, my mom expects me to or even tells me to get up and talk to V because she knows. She just knows who she is. She knows I miss her and love her and when she's far away I just want to hear her voice. When V comes with me to SJ to hang out with my family, she isn't just some "friend" of mine or even worse, some girl who's just tagging along, hanging around and eating our food, she's my girlfriend and she belongs there.
Lately I feel like I'm being shoved back into the closet. Forcefully, and the closet is full of sporting equipment and hockey sticks and basketballs so it's really uncomfortable. I feel lately I've been having to make a lot of excuses for myself and I HATE making excuses for myself. V's not out and she's got a bunch of relatives visiting. It's a gross feeling when you have to sneak around, like you're doing something wrong. Like what you're doing is very shameful and cannot be done in daylight. If you're Chinese or any kind of Asian, you probably know what I'm talking about. There's just something not....righteous about it...something illegal. Like stealing, lying and cheating. Like you're hiding a gambling problem or something. It really makes me feel...I can't really explain it but it makes me feel dark. It's almost depressing. Being purposefully hidden. It almost starts to feel real. Like there IS something actually wrong with me. I don't realize how beat down I am until I'm back in an environment where I'm welcomed. Where they want me there or where at least I feel like I belong or are expected to be. Even I'm not necessarily what they envisioned or even hoped for.
Take my sister and her boyfriend. It is quite established in our household that he's a deadbeat. He's lazy, spends too much money and if were depended on to care for my sister, they'd both starve and probably be homeless. No higher education, he's not even all that good looking, but he's my sister's boyfriend and we all have to accept/be respectful of that. When we have an outing (haha, no pun intended), a BBQ or just dinner or Dim Sum, he's expected to come/automatically invited. And if he doesn't come, we all ask where he is at which point my sister will reply he had to work and that is an acceptable answer. But the point is that WE ALL, including my parents, invite him and expect him to be there. This is the same for when V's in town, she is automatically invited. In fact, my mom just yesterday remembered that V loves those haw flakes, but the good kind, not the one wrapped in paper and she went around looking for them because she knows my girlfriend LOVES them and it would make her happy.
Versus me in V's territory. Only V invites me or expects me to be there. I feel weird staying at her place sometimes. All the time really. I feel especially weird when her relatives are in town. Sometimes, when they ask me about me, I can hear that they're REALLY asking why the fuck are you here and why do you hang around all the time. I can feel their awkwardness when they go out to eat and are buying food for V and her sister who didn't come along..."are we supposed to buy a portion for that other girl?" I cringe when V makes an excuse for me. It hurts when I call and I can probably guess that my call is being purposefully ignored for fear of either me wanting her to say she loves me or me telling her I love her and it may make her smile or blush that it might give it away. Or what if she's ignoring my call because it's just plain to inconvenient to pretend like it's just a normal friend that's calling. That I have to sneak in flowers for her or if I give her flowers it stays at my place so really what is the point?
It sucks. Sometimes I feel like it will always be like this. She will take off the ring when we go to her house. Like she's at some some bar trying to pick up other girls. That's depressing. We'll be the old couple her relatives talk about. "Business partners" or whatever but everyone knows it and the only ones left who are in denial are ourselves.
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| The DNC needs an overhaul! |
[02 Jun 2008|09:17pm] |
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House |
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What the fuck is the Democratic National Committee (DNC) doing? Are they really going to throw away another four years? When the hell are these guys going to get it right? If they let Obama lead the Democratic Party in the November General Primaries, they may as hand over the Oval Office to John McCain.
Neither John McCain or Obama know a lick about the economy and Americans are saying that the economy is the most important issues this up coming elections so if neither of them know jack shit about the economy, the next thing on people's mind is terrorism, the war in Iraq and patriotism and we all KNOW MCCAIN WINS on that front. There is no way the Obama camp is going to convince the American people that he is more Patriotic, that he knows more about foreign policy and has more experience with WAR than McCain. WTF??? Obama has a very very very slim chance of winning against McCain. FUCKING IDIOTS ARE GOING TO HAND IT OVER TO THE REPUBLICANS...again.
And let's talk about the popular vote?? Hillary Clinton is winning the polls in the popular vote. We all remember what happened 8 years ago when the guy with the popular vote lost?!?! The uproar and the end result, we got an asshole for President...FOR EIGHT YEARS!!! Do we all remember how blasphemous it was that Al Gore didn't win when he clearly won the popular vote and we're going to do this shit again, only this time to our own people. *sigh
*claps loudly. Good job DNC. Don't have HIllary go head to head with McCain on economic policy and health care and education (which she happens to be a pro on with decisive plans and a proven track record in these areas). If she went head to head with McCain on these #1 issues to the American people, she WOULD CRUSH JOHN MCCAIN!!
I guess we'll wait another friggin 4 years before we get our shit, our country back together.
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myluckymonkey's journal
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